musings of a muddled mortal..

It starts with a jest

a teasing smile

of times spent together when 

just a moment, becomes a while....

It starts with unspoken words,

assumptions made by foolish hearts

with friendship amidst stunted calls

budding, flowering.. when dreams fall

Dreams that desire what mind forbids

a chaos of color amongst bleached acropolises

till the time the subconscious takes over

a mind pregnant with forbidden promises.

the desire builds up, waves upon waves

persistently pushing against the wall

till they tip, splashing at the rims

of my sanity, my rationale...

this cosmic dance of pheromones

working its magic against my will

conspiring with fellow felon desire

robbing me of my sanity still

hard to see, hidden amongst hesitant hugs

oh, so painfully easy to miss,

if not for the eyes that belie

the unspoken promise of a kiss...

APOLOGIES OF AN ALLEGED MCP

Have I turned you off again?

I believe I have ma’am

Is my conscience shattered, tattered?

I don’t think I give a damn.

For I tried & tried & I lied & lied

don’t think I can change

I tried to be smooth, I tried to be suave

An uncouth lad I remain

Have I cheesed you off again?

How rude of me! Oh shame!

No gentlemen these days, I tell ya

You only have yourself to blame.

For you think you’re smart, you think you are strong

Hell even better than us

So we bundled up chivalry, we trussed up tenderness

And packed ‘em off in a Bus.

And now I stand, like all of us

Deferentially taking a bow

Oh how you have climbed, oh how you have peaked

How happy are you up there now?

The climb was steep, the slayings so many

And now you can’t come down

So now you wish someone was here

Someone to share the crown.

See that’s the cross you’ll have to bear

That’s the price for all the favor

So don’t mourn now your lost innocence

For now it’s lost forever.

Doppelganger

A Quarter century of existance, or more

a past mostly mired in smokes and shadows

trying to remember the days gone by

not a single memory; well, this blows.

Friends come, and friends go

some slip away quitely , some not so

Love trying to find a foothold

on the slippery slopes of heart's hold.

Amongst all this brouhaha of life

the face in the mirror keeps a vigil

The only constant in this strife

my master, my mentor, my very own pupil.

It speaks to me in hushed tones

pouring down bitter truths where no one can

In my ears, my sinews, my very bones

do the right thing; be a man.

It never tries to please me

with honey-dripped words mired in lies

You are, but a man, it pleas, with

greying hair, wrinkles, and tired eyes.

Many a times, the voice gets lost

in the cacaphony of world's cries

But I know, it's always there somewhere

waiting for me to battle out those lies.

All my flaws, wart and all

staring at me throgh the shiny wall

A bitter pill, extracting its terrible toll

but like all bitter pills, good, cleansing the soul.

In these moments of clarity, I see you and realise

I'm my best when on my own

It's you and me all the way, my Doppelganger

A life best lived alone.

Quantum Dice in a Game of Souls

 On the much vaunted path of life
       some hopes linger, some dreams die
and we keep on shuffling past.

Sometimes, truth peeks through the veil
       footsteps falter, courage fail
and we have just two ways to cope

Keep hold the sanity and deny
       the terrible truth beneath blue sky
or take your shot, and risk it all.

It's a casino few get invite
        let alone play, or roll a dice
After all, your sanity's on the line.

Just remember this thing hoss
       there's no winner, we're all at loss
this game is rigged, make no mistake.

Free will, it's just a ghost
       this road's straight, few turns at most
He's duped us all, or so it seems.

Well quantum says, haven't you learnt
       you have both taken, and left the turn
And God is hidden in details.

So plod on, don't despair
       we're puppets in the claws of players
And they have just left the Game.











. . . . .
. . . . .

Lost & Found

I've wandered for a thousand years

searching for something I can't comprehend

Somehow, somewhere I lost

a piece of me.

I don't know what it was

I don't know what it means

But I feel I'm missing something,

Something that'll complete me.

maybe it's a futile quest

maybe it's all a mirage

maybe I'm meant to be this thirsty

a cruel joke of fate, it seems.

this yearning drives all my actions

a puppet master pulling my strings

everything I do, somehow i feel

has a hidden meaning

look me on surface and all's well

life's going on it's tracks

but there are hidden currents beneath the road

currents which have will'o themselves.

I'll not fight these currents; no, never

I'll go with the flow, the way I've always done

so I continue the wanderings unabated

till the strings of this life's come undone.

it's not a quest for some earthy prize

yearning for eternal salvation nor

cause if I find the end of rainbow

then what's left there in life to live for.

it's the wanderlust that defines me, in no uncertain terms

my anchor against the ravages of reality

I've found it and embraced it

and it'll guide me to nowhere till eternity.